Clear Communication: Its all Giraffes in Jars These Days

“Is it okay if we just focus on my dog’s aggression towards other dogs? His not listening to me and being a spaz in the house doesn't bother me.”

Sometimes I hear the above request from clients. However only treating your dog’s most annoying problem without addressing the root issues is like having brackish water coming out of a faucet. You can buy one of those water filter pitchers to clear the water but you never solve the water problem at its source. You continually correct the issue as the primary problem continues to exist.

So how can you get to the source of your dog’s issues? Even though each dog, owner, and case is different, there tends to be one truth: success starts with improving communication between dog and owner.

Let’s say your dog is like an unruly teenager named Alice. 

“Uh no wa-haaay! Like, I’m totally going to Tweet that you compared me to a dog. As IF! #DogTrainersRStoopid.”

Barbara has tried everything to communicate with Alice. She’s tried different strategies, reading books, looking on the internet, talking to friends, and even watching Dr. Phil. 

“You can’t lead a teenager to a giraffe hunt in a pickle jar!”

Okay, that cleared things up Dr. Phil.

Barbara has tried being more strict, using boundaries, praise, getting interested in Alice's music, but in the end Alice seems disinterested, and still acts out. Barbara's terrified of ruining their already fragile relationship. 

This IS a giraffe hunt in a pickle jar!

So what about the dog relationship? No matter the dog, nor the dog’s problem, when basic communication is brought into the equation, something shifts in the dog. Dogs that were disengaged become present. Hyper dogs start calming down. Anxious dogs focus. Reactive dogs relinquish control.

Owners also shift: Their frustration melts away, hope comes in, and a sense of pride in their dog and what the two of them can achieve together surfaces. This new way of communicating isn’t something you can practice for 15 minutes a day. Every interaction with your dog is an opportunity to either strengthen or weaken those lines of communication. And when that communication is solidly in place at home, outside, in the car, on the trail—that’s when you’ve gone to the source and cleared up the confusion. 

Now somebody let those poor giraffes out of that jar.

Treats and Training Wheels

“If I use treats, will my dog only perform when I have treats?” This is a great question. I don’t use treats for every aspect of training, however there is a time and place where treat training comes into play.

  

Treats can be like training wheels on a bike. Would a parent feel badly about sending a toddler out on their unsteady bike without training wheels? Doubtful.

“Woe is me Roger! Little Shirley’s going to turn 13 in 10 years and be the only kid in junior high with training wheels!”

“Great gadzooks Marcia! If she still needs these wheels when she’s at Harvard, we’ll have failed her!”

Highly unlikely scenario. These parents would probably realize using training wheels is a fantastic way to get their child used to balancing and coordinating all of those new skills. If Shirley continually fell off her non-training-wheeled bike, she might associate it with failure, or worse, with her parents saying the bike was safe and not trust them when they next try to convince her that the green goop on her plate is also "safe."

It's similar in dog training. Let’s take this bike metaphor for a metaphorical ride:

Let's say we're training Fido to sit and stay when guests enter the home. Usually it takes minutes with treats to capture this new behavior. We reinforce Fido’s new greeting routine daily because for the past months? Years? Fido has been in the habit of greeting guests any way he sees fit. By using treats as training wheels, we forge a steady, safe passage to this new, more desired behavior.

When Fido has mastered his new skill and both owner and Fido are confident, it’s time to raise the training wheels just a little. Fido’s owner treats less often, interjecting more praise, but still has treats in hand so those training wheels are in place if needed. Much further down the road the training wheels come up a bit further, then further.  

“Holy Toledo Roger! Poor little Shirley can’t ride her bike on gravel, sidewalks, or on hills. Bike riding isn’t for Shirley. Let’s get her a recorder.”

Hopefully Shirley’s parents wouldn’t jump to the assumption above. They would see that Shirley needs to practice daily under various biking conditions.

Similarly, Fido needs to practice, even if guests don’t enter the home daily. Practicing going to his spot at the door and eliciting an excited response by knocking on the door, or asking a family member to go outside and having daily “Fido drills,” all strengthen Fido’s new behavior. When guests do arrive and Fido’s shuffled off to another room, everyone has missed a great learning opportunity.

Remember those tikes with the training wheels so far off the ground they no longer served any real purpose? This is when the behavior is so well-established, Fido and owner knows what’s expected when the doorbell rings.

That’s when the training wheels come off!

**Warning: Once Shirley’s training wheels come off and she takes a three year hiatus from bike riding in her 20’s to pursue basket weaving in Timbuktu, chances are she’ll get back on her bike with little to no effort. 

Not so with Fido. If there’s a lapse in training with Fido, oftentimes the training wheels have to be reattached for a while to get him back on the road to success.

Elvis's Snort n' Swagger

There's a Black Lab that comes to doggie daycare named Elvis that nobody messes with. He's incredibly sweet but when he walks up to a sea of dogs they separate faster than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

If the dogs don't see Elvis, or if they get into his face and they're not wanted there, Elvis snorts. I think it's supposed to be a growl, but it's a snort and I've never seen Elvis have to escalate past this snort. Everyone backs down.

I've watched Elvis's ability to move dogs, large and small, for months. At first I thought it was the snort. I thought if I could record this snort and sell this snort, maybe as an iPhone app, I would make millions. MILLIONS I tell you!!!!

Barking dogs in your neighborhood?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Having trouble with your dominant dog?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Dogs at the dog park jumping on you?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Your Boss being unfair at work? --Buy the.... Maybe not.

But before I got too carried away envisioning retiring with umbrella drinks on sandy beaches, I realized that oftentimes Elvis wasn't even snorting. He merely ambled through a crowd of dogs and broke up the melee. Elvis sauntered. No, more than sauntered, he had a purposeful swagger. He wasn't as mean as Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Whales, but the gait was right.

Elvis is the sweetest dog, he just doesn't want any of that crazy dog shenanigans near him. And sometimes if two dogs are getting too out of hand, he'll mosey over and just walk in between 'em, and the dogs stop, all calm like an' walk away. Nobody gettin' hurt like. He just walks by, [Spit] "You gonna pull 'em pistols or whistle Dixie?"

If I were to break up two dogs that were playing but getting too out of control, usually they would still be going after each other and in that goofy mood. All the other dogs joining in then too. I was as effective as a substitute teacher.

So I decided to act like Elvis. Mosey or swagger over like Elvis, all slow like. Not angry, not frustrated, definitely in no hurry. Not mirroring the two dogs who are getting out of control's energy, but maintaining that "Elvis energy." And...walk...with all that...confident...[snort]...energy...right...in between the dogs.

And it worked!

When I tried breaking up hyper dogs and I mirrored the fast energy I got no where. Other dogs around me also mirrored my quick energy and added to the frenzy.

However, when I moseyed through the two dogs like Elvis, the other dogs in the pack not playing, followed my energy and walked with me, circling a bit until the energy calmed. This was how to speak dog: Energy.

SNORT!

Fido Philosophy

People who keep training their dog one way and expecting a different outcome are going to end up with a dog in the dog pound. Thank you Dog-stein.

So a general tip I give these frustrated dog owners is from another great 20th century philosopher: George Costanza. "Do the opposite." Remember the Seinfeld episode where George did the opposite of what he would normally do? George realized that by constantly doing the same thing he's always done, he was getting the same results. So if he did the opposite of what he normally would do, maybe he would get a positive result. *

When I've told clients to apply this philosophy to their dogs, partially it's to lighten the mood. If you've ever had a dog that is constantly misbehaving, working with your dog can be in the least, frustrating. So when the usual dog issue arises and the blood starts boiling, think, "George Costanza!" Have a giggle, and figure out what the next step is, blood less curdled.

Here are some possible dog George Costanza moments:

• If usually your dog barks or whines at you during: leashing, feeding, or other excited activities--George Costanza--do the opposite (slow down, stop, leave)
  
• If you normally let your disobedient dog have treats all day without earning them--George Costanza--do the opposite (no treats, work for treats--sit, down, stay).
• If you normally let your guarding dog lay on top of you--George Costanza it--do the opposite (no over protective dogs ON you).
• If on your daily walk you stop your dog every time another dog walks by to combat reactivity--George Costanza it--do the opposite (ignore, ignore, and keep walking).
• If your little dog growls when people come near, so you pull him nearer and pet him--do the opposite (put him down, push him away--no cuddles for bad behavior).

May the George Costanza philosophy have you so happy you're doing the Elaine Dance.

*If you have an aggressive dog, hopefully you are wise enough to know that you can't "George Costanza it." The George Costanza rule is for mild dog behavior issues.

Table Surfing--Brohah

One of my dogs hops onto the kitchen table whenever there's a scrap of food that's been left for even a few minutes. He's gotten more daring as the years have gone by, despite our catching him in the act and clapping loudly, admonishing him, "BAD Fozzie!" Obviously the reward for this bad behavior is greater than the punishment.

I've read about putting mousetraps under newspaper and then baiting your dog. The snapping sound of the mousetraps scare the dog into never table surfing again. Fozzie is very sensitive to sound. He hates the sound of my iPhone alarm and runs away whenever it beeps. I thought this might be the right training for this sound-sensitive pooch.

I bought two traps, and I have to say, I was a little giddy--was this going to work? After years of stealing our lunches and having to be vigilant about pushing in chairs if there was food on the table, would this be the simple solution? Nothing painful for the dog--the traps never touch him. Just a "snap" and I'm nowhere near it so I can't be associated with it. What meaty sandwich will I celebrate with, leaving such a gourmet feast unguarded and helpless, chairs pulled out like I haven't a care in the world...? ...okay, cart before horse.

I put the traps below the newspapers and noticed the traps made little "mountains" out of the newspapers. I put the pieces of chicken in the "valleys." My 3 dogs where all around the table--the waters were chummed.

"I'm just walking up the steps. Just going about my business as usual." Yes, I really said this. And at the top of the steps I looked back and waited. The only thing missing was the score to, "Mission Impossible."

And just like Mission Impossible, Fozzie jumped up onto the table, navigated the traps and ate each of the mounds of chicken, then re-navigated back through the traps and hopped down off the table licking his lips. UGH! I tried it again. Surely he would set off a trap. And that's a negative. The traps were untouched.

What was I missing?

Ohhhhhh....I needed to put the food on the little mountains, actually on the traps.

By this time Fozzie was pretty full but my other two dogs had been watching him and learning. They were not table surfers, but now after watching what a great feast Fozzie was getting, and he wasn't getting into any trouble, my dog Archie climbed up onto the table and set the trap receiving the punishment meant for Fozzie.

So far I had reinforced the behavior in the one dog I had not wanted to continue this bad habit and by "monkey see, monkey do," my other dog decided to get in on the game.

If you are keeping score: Dogs: 3 Trainer: 0

Later in the day, after Fozzie's stomach was no longer full, I did hear a "snap!" The food remained in place on top of the newspaper and Fozzie scampered from the kitchen. I left the food and traps on the table all weekend and they stayed untouched.

Just sitting here typing, with fresh chicken pieces and the traps set, Fozzie jumped up onto the chair, whined and looked at me. I watched intently, yet didn't correct him. He looked at the food sitting on top of the traps and you could see his little wheels turning in his head. He licked his lips several times. And finally he jumped off the chair.

I'm not sure if this will have a lasting (forever) effect or if I'll have to repeat it. I'll have to see if Fozzie is smart enough to know that food on newspaper is "dangerous" or if all food on the table is off limits.

For now--chairs will remain pushed in and dreams of unguarded sandwiches are still a fantasy.

Wanted: Dog to Guard Squeaky Toys

“Jimmy won’t share his toys! Wahhhh!” Screams the indignant child.

“They’re my toys, I don’t have to share!” Jimmy retaliates.

“Jonathon Harrison Tucker, you will share your toys right now!” the Mom yells menacingly, “Give Tommy that Nerf Gun!” The Mom stands over the child in this scene, hands on hips, determined to change Jimmy’s attitude.

Some dog trainers believe you should assert your dominance over a dog, maybe claim the toy, and win the battle over the toy.

I’ve done this myself with one of my dogs and other dogs as well. It works to an extent--I do successfully get the object away from the dog. However, I haven’t found any lasting changes in the dog’s guarding behavior. I win each battle, but never the war.

I wasn’t the only person working with these dogs, as is often the case in most households, so even though I’d teach this method so everyone was on the same page and there would be consistency—I found little to no change in the dogs’ behavior, or worse, an increase in aggression.

In the cases of resource guarding where I’ve been called in, there's definitely one thing in common. Everyone is anxious about the dog’s aggressive behavior around his toys. You can hear it when they’re describing what happens when anyone or another pet gets near the dog’s toy. Some owners have called other trainers and were told to give each dog a treat while the object guarding is happening.

“Jimmy, here's an ice cream cone for you and your friends. Now will you share?” asks Mom.

“No! But thanks for the ice cream. I want more!”

“Okay, you’re still not sharing, but I’ll give you more ice cream.”

What’s my solution to this problem? Change the environment. Create a place where everyone can relax and not walk on eggshells. Dogs who misbehave don’t get toys.

Some dogs, depending on their breed, were originally created to guard and it’s in their genetics. I’ve met with several herding dogs with resource guarding issues. Protect the flock!/Protect this squeaky toy! They are fulfilling their breed by guarding their toys.

Some dogs are dominant and there’s a great multi-step plan for these guys, but it still begins with the path of least aggression: change the environment to create success.

“No Nerf guns Jimmy,” Mom says as she calmly puts away the Nerf guns.

“Wha….?” Jimmy watches.

“Let’s all go outside and play a new game,” Mom says.

“Yeah!”

_______

If you have any doggie issue questions, email Wendy at wendy@packbalance.com

If you're happy and you know it praise your dog!

Once or twice a week I work at Dog Tag's Doggie Daycare. On any given day there are 9 of my favorite dogs that I love as if they were my own. Some of these dogs jump up on people, some bark to get attention or bark at other dogs, and some dogs have so much energy--they're turned up to eleven.

My days have often been filled shushing the barking dogs, putting my hands up or turning away from the dogs jumping on me at every turn, and the overly-excited dogs...woof. In a pack setting hyperactive dogs can cause problems, like someone yelling, "Fire!" in a movie theater. I was often frustrated chasing the dogs' bad behaviors all day.

So operation Catch 'em doin' something good and Ignore 'em when they're bad--started. In psychology mumbo-jumbo they call this: positive reinforcement and negative punishment.*

I started with the "barkers." I would catch them when they weren't barking, say their name, walk over and give them praise and pets (positive reinforcement). If they started barking because of the excitement of being petted, I'd simply turn and walk away (negative punishment). This is big in dog world where the pack is everything.

If the dog walked up to me barking for attention, I'd turn and walk away. The only way I would give them attention was when I found them being quiet and calm--and I actively sought them out. If they barked I never looked at them or corrected their behavior, I just did an about face and walked away.

After only 15 minutes I noticed a marked difference. After an hour--practically cured barkers! No barking at me for attention. A decrease in barking overall. Since barking tends to be a mirrored behavior*, the entire pack was more quiet.

I worked with the "jumpers." These dogs LOVED the negative attention they were getting, all the, "No Dewy! Off Dewy!" and the touches and pushes were just more reward. I would call them to me. As usual they would jump on me, so I would turn and walk away.

The jumpers stopped jumping and calmed down. Some took longer than others. They had practiced this jumping behavior for a loooong time and getting attention for being calm was a new behavior to practice.

I'm sure you're getting the idea now...I did the same thing for the hyperactive dogs, searching them out when they were calm--which was tough to find them when they were calm and praise them without their getting worked back into a frenzy. But it worked.

The best part came at the end of the day when an owner came to pick up her dog and usually the dogs bark at the fence line as their dog friend leaves. Instead they stood there silently.

"Wow, they're so quiet," the owner said. The energy of the entire pack was calmer. I was calmer. It was achieved by merely actively praising what behavior you want and ignoring the behavior you don't want.

Catch your dog doing something good today!


Suggested readings*:
Your Dog is Your Mirror--Kevin Behan
The Well-Adjusted Dog--Dr. Nicholas H. Dodman

To pet or not to pet, that is the question.

As I was waiting for my daughter to finish her guitar lesson, a high school student sat with me in the living room of the guitar teacher's home. The guitar teacher has one of the friendliest cats I've ever met named Banshee.

However, on this day, as the high school student started petting Banshee, the cat started flinching at her touch (first warning). The student kept petting. Then Banshee started flapping her tail heavily (second warning). The student kept petting. Finally, Banshee gave the student a warning nip that barely missed her hand (third warning). Instead of heeding all of these warnings, the student said, "Stop that Banshee or I won't keep petting you," and continued to pet the very perturbed cat until Banshee got up and walked away.

I've seen this time and time again with dogs. People approaching a dog that looks mortified, yet they're "dog lovers" and they want to pet the dog. They'll even try to pet a growling dog--if it's a small one--knowing their pet has a magic soothing elixir.

It's like old Auntie Thelma when you were a little kid that crushed you in her hugs and wet kisses. She pinched your cheeks, grabbed your arms so she could pull you back for another hug after assessing how much you've grown. The sweet smell of her perfume mixed with the medicinal arthritis cream making you gag. No matter her good intentions, you dreaded having to see her.

Think about it--everyone in this dog's life is THAT relative, never giving them a choice, always invading their space.

Without giving a dissertation on animal body language, I've got a simple tool to help you figure out whether or not you should approach and pet a dog. Simply ask yourself: Am I petting this dog to fulfill my needs or will petting this dog fulfill it's needs?

Take a look at the dog you're approaching with that question in mind. Look at it's body language. Is he all over you like butter on toast or hiding and unsure, licking his lips, or even worse, growling? Being a true animal lover is being a wise selfless person first and not demanding, "LET ME LOVE YOU!" from every animal.

Sit Ubu sit!....Good Dog!

If I could pick one suggestion for dog owners, whether they have dogs who are driving them nuts, or they have pooches who just need a little tweaking. I'd start with "Sit for Everything." *

It's just like it sounds: Your dog doesn't receive anything until he does the basic command "sit." And I ain't talkin' about, "Sit....sit....Sparky, siiiiit....SIT!" I'm talkin' about, "Sit." And if you don't get a nice sit within 3 Mississippi's, you walk away. No second chance. No getting frustrated. No, "UGH! Bad Sparky! I'm trading you in for a CAT!" Just turn and walk away, cooler than Bogart strutting away in the Casablancan fog.

In the world of psychology this is called Negative Punishment. It's not negative because it's bad, it's negative because you're taking away something that has value. For example, you have a bowl of dog food in hand and you say, "Sit," nice and firmly. Sparky looks at you and doesn't do anything.

(1 Mississippi.....2 Mississippi....3 Mississippi...).

So you simply take away the food that has value to him by putting it on the counter and walk away ("Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful...leadership.").

If Sparky were a ten year old child, this would be like saying, "You didn't clean your room so I'm taking away your Xbox." Those of you who have kids near this age know that Xbox has HUGE value and the room will be cleaned faster than they can finish their Halloween candy.

If Sparky follows you around whining, or barks protesting--no food until Sparky is calm for quite some time. No feeling bad for bad behavior! Once back in the kitchen, at least 20 minutes later--hold the bowl, look at Sparky and firmly say, "Sit." Recycle above if Sparky doesn't sit.

Before Sparky can go outside, whether leashed or going out in the back yard, he needs to "sit." Ask once and make him think about it. This makes an overly excited dog really have to calm down and think, a dominant dog feel the shift in leadership, an anxious dog calmer because someone is in control. If after 3 Mississippi's he's not sitting--you walk away.

***I find it's a lot easier for people who are frustrated with their dog's behavior to stay calm when they can just walk away instead of demanding a behavior. However, consistency is the only way to make this work.

Sparky walks up and wants to get some attention? "Sit." Sparky wants to get into the car? "Sit." Before the car door closes? "Sit." After the doorbell rings Sparky wants to see who's there? "Sit." Sparky wants a treat? "Sit." Sparky wants to watch The Bachelor on TV? We need to have a consultation about what you are allowing your dog to watch.....

Once Sparky's sitting for everything, hold the sit. Make Sparky wait and calm down. Make sure to give him calm praise when he does sit.

REMIX:

• Sparky has to sit before getting anything.
  
• Walk away if Sparky doesn't sit after 3 Mississippi's. No reward for no sit.
  
• When Sparky does sit he gets rewarded by getting what he wants--and make sure to give him lots of verbal and praise when he does get the hang of "Sit for Everything" (positive reinforcement).

*If your dog doesn't know the command "sit" you have to train that behavior before this method works. Otherwise you'll merely be barking a command like, "Cartwright!" and your dog has no clue that the word is associated with an action.

Obedience training? That ain't me, babe.

I'm surprised how many times I've heard a dog owner tell me how they're opposed to telling their dog what to do. They've heard about "bossing" their dog around and being the "leader" and bossing their dog around all day is just too strict for their style. With that said, their dog has behavior issues and would like me to address those annoying behavior issues.

It's like a plumber coming in to fix a leak in the ceiling but not being allowed to go upstairs where the problem might be originating. First of all I think we need to address what it means to be a leader of your dog. If you were a bully and bossy, demanding or inconsistent, I think we would all agree those are horrible attributes for an effective leader. I'm thinking more along the lines of confident, caring, clear, concise and someone who communicates effectively.

If you had a job where on the first day your boss said, "We're so glad you're here, just mill about and figure out how it all works. We're all equal here, man." You'd be cool with that at first. You are the luckiest employee on the planet. A paycheck for doing whatever you want!

But then you notice your boss is frustrated with you and he says cryptic things like, "Ugh, you didn't file that report? I really wanted you to come in early today!" And storms off. He never told you anything about a report, ever! He's never told you to do much of anything, let alone to come in early. He's usually just friendly. Now you start feeling anxious. You ask him what you should be doing and he says, "No big deal, you're fine." and then a couple days later he's mad at you again out of the blue. You become more anxious. You start fighting with coworkers because you're moody. You never know when your boss is going to be mad at you over something you did or didn't do. This perfect job isn't so perfect.

If your boss would just tell you what he expected from you and communicate clearly when you were on the right track and fairly explained to you when you were going in the wrong direction, you wouldn't feel so scattered.

This is what a dog without boundaries or guidelines feels like in it's home. Rules are put into place so we can communicate clearly with our dogs what we want and expect from them.

For thousands of years dogs and humans have worked together--the key word here is "worked." Dogs thrive when they are working. I've had clients who were opposed to "obedience training" and then watch their dog come alive once I start training very basic commands. Their dogs were hungry for clear communication and direction. It's also FUN. Their brain is engaged. The dog was bored, meandering around the house without direction and the suddenly someone is breaking through the anxiety and frustration, making it so easy to succeed and the dog can tell that everyone is happy with what he is doing.

"I don't want to have to have food in my hand for my dog to behave." I agree completely. That's why you start with food/treats to effectively mark, "Yes, that's what I want you to do," and then use food less and less until you no longer need it. I intermittently substitute praise once the behavior I've captured is strong enough.

If you are looking to improve your dog's well-being and yours by communicating better, there are plenty of options--here are some: obedience training classes, agility classes, urban herding classes, or even private lessons.

Pack Balance