Elvis's Snort n' Swagger

There's a Black Lab that comes to doggie daycare named Elvis that nobody messes with. He's incredibly sweet but when he walks up to a sea of dogs they separate faster than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

If the dogs don't see Elvis, or if they get into his face and they're not wanted there, Elvis snorts. I think it's supposed to be a growl, but it's a snort and I've never seen Elvis have to escalate past this snort. Everyone backs down.

I've watched Elvis's ability to move dogs, large and small, for months. At first I thought it was the snort. I thought if I could record this snort and sell this snort, maybe as an iPhone app, I would make millions. MILLIONS I tell you!!!!

Barking dogs in your neighborhood?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Having trouble with your dominant dog?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Dogs at the dog park jumping on you?---Buy the Elvis Snort App! Your Boss being unfair at work? --Buy the.... Maybe not.

But before I got too carried away envisioning retiring with umbrella drinks on sandy beaches, I realized that oftentimes Elvis wasn't even snorting. He merely ambled through a crowd of dogs and broke up the melee. Elvis sauntered. No, more than sauntered, he had a purposeful swagger. He wasn't as mean as Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Whales, but the gait was right.

Elvis is the sweetest dog, he just doesn't want any of that crazy dog shenanigans near him. And sometimes if two dogs are getting too out of hand, he'll mosey over and just walk in between 'em, and the dogs stop, all calm like an' walk away. Nobody gettin' hurt like. He just walks by, [Spit] "You gonna pull 'em pistols or whistle Dixie?"

If I were to break up two dogs that were playing but getting too out of control, usually they would still be going after each other and in that goofy mood. All the other dogs joining in then too. I was as effective as a substitute teacher.

So I decided to act like Elvis. Mosey or swagger over like Elvis, all slow like. Not angry, not frustrated, definitely in no hurry. Not mirroring the two dogs who are getting out of control's energy, but maintaining that "Elvis energy." And...walk...with all that...confident...[snort]...energy...right...in between the dogs.

And it worked!

When I tried breaking up hyper dogs and I mirrored the fast energy I got no where. Other dogs around me also mirrored my quick energy and added to the frenzy.

However, when I moseyed through the two dogs like Elvis, the other dogs in the pack not playing, followed my energy and walked with me, circling a bit until the energy calmed. This was how to speak dog: Energy.

SNORT!