To pet or not to pet, that is the question.

As I was waiting for my daughter to finish her guitar lesson, a high school student sat with me in the living room of the guitar teacher's home. The guitar teacher has one of the friendliest cats I've ever met named Banshee.

However, on this day, as the high school student started petting Banshee, the cat started flinching at her touch (first warning). The student kept petting. Then Banshee started flapping her tail heavily (second warning). The student kept petting. Finally, Banshee gave the student a warning nip that barely missed her hand (third warning). Instead of heeding all of these warnings, the student said, "Stop that Banshee or I won't keep petting you," and continued to pet the very perturbed cat until Banshee got up and walked away.

I've seen this time and time again with dogs. People approaching a dog that looks mortified, yet they're "dog lovers" and they want to pet the dog. They'll even try to pet a growling dog--if it's a small one--knowing their pet has a magic soothing elixir.

It's like old Auntie Thelma when you were a little kid that crushed you in her hugs and wet kisses. She pinched your cheeks, grabbed your arms so she could pull you back for another hug after assessing how much you've grown. The sweet smell of her perfume mixed with the medicinal arthritis cream making you gag. No matter her good intentions, you dreaded having to see her.

Think about it--everyone in this dog's life is THAT relative, never giving them a choice, always invading their space.

Without giving a dissertation on animal body language, I've got a simple tool to help you figure out whether or not you should approach and pet a dog. Simply ask yourself: Am I petting this dog to fulfill my needs or will petting this dog fulfill it's needs?

Take a look at the dog you're approaching with that question in mind. Look at it's body language. Is he all over you like butter on toast or hiding and unsure, licking his lips, or even worse, growling? Being a true animal lover is being a wise selfless person first and not demanding, "LET ME LOVE YOU!" from every animal.