Dog Codependency

The definition of a codependent relationship is an, "Unhealthy love and a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking way that harms one's relationships and quality of life."

I'm not surprised to hear that dogs I come across who are in a codependent relationship with their owner started out "fine" or "normal" but are now insecure, or fear aggressive, guarding dogs. These dog owners, typically women, probably liked the first time their dog growled at someone and behaved like an over-possessive, jealous boyfriend. It made them feel loved and protected.

Later when the aggression increased and they were the only ones their dogs could be near, that made them feel special, so they rewarded the aggressive behavior. Oftentimes they take the side of the dog, "He's scared!" Positively reinforcing the aggression with coddling.

The first case I'll discuss is from an owner named Suzy in her 3rd year at CU. She had a Chihuahua who had been practicing this codependent behavior for many years, and it had escalated for so long, Suzy could no longer take Tank on walks or out of the house because he would try to attack humans and dogs alike.

As soon as I walked into her house, I was instantly bitten by a streak of beige as Tank darted across the floor and took a chunk out of my leg, again disappearing under a table. What always interests me in aggression cases is the reaction of the owners. Suzy did and said nothing to reprimand Tank.

I was bitten at least 10 times while we stood there talking. Since I had jeans on, only half of the bites landed and broke or bruised the skin, but still, no response from Suzy. Interesting. Oftentimes owners think because I'm a trainer they're to sit back and let me take over, so I have to ask them, "How do you respond when he bites people like that?" to really assess that I'm getting an accurate picture of what happens during the regular day-to-day. Does this woman protect her guests from her dog's bites? She responded with a whining, "Taaaa-aaank. Noo-000." It didn't convince either of us, and Tank came back for another bite, maybe her words even triggered Tank's attack.

I took over and halted the assaults with firm body language and stating a firm "EH!" If Suzy wasn't going to be boss--or didn't know how--it was time to stand up to this little guy who was obviously running the show. My legs were throbbing. I didn't get bitten again. I showed Suzy how to tell Tank, "No," gently and easily, and communicate with him properly.

She showed remorse and felt sorry for her dog. Oddly enough, she never once apologized or felt sorry for the many bites I had received by her dog. She also seemed disinterested in the process with many sighs. I later found out that her roommate put her up to hiring me.

The second case of codependency I'll discuss was just as serious, however the dog was, by breed, more dangerous, since she was a Pit Bull. The owner, Jen has MS (multiple sclerosis) and is bed ridden most of the day with her dog as her snuggling companion. Jen's mother Katie takes care of her and her father who also lives in the house and has more advanced MS.

Also living in the house is Jen's 17 year old son Tim. The Pit Bull, Lucy had once had a sibling who was euthanized due to aggression. Lucy had attacked the Pug in the house, causing extensive vet bills.

Lucy had been on a walk with Jen, while Jen was in a motorized wheel chair, and Lucy pulled away and attacked a neighbor's dog, causing much damage. Lucy was now officially deemed viscous. That's when I was called as a, "Last ditch effort."

Lucy was extremely reactive and guarding. I couldn't move or talk in Jen's presence without Lucy growling, puffing her flews (lips) or barking at me. Again, nobody in the family would correct her behavior. I finally had to ask Tim to leash Lucy and pull her to the other side of the room so I could continue the initial consultation.

Even though Katie, the grandmother and Tim seemed to be motivated to do what it would take to train Lucy, Jen seemed the least enthusiastic, had reservations, excuses, and would shoot down many of my ideas. It was not her idea to call me, it was her mother who had made the call.

There seemed to be a disconnect with Jen. She wanted her dog to be able to be socialized and to be able to walk Lucy safely, however she still wanted Lucy to be a "guard dog." I explained that her dog has no obedience training and she has no control over Lucy. Lucy reacts to EVERYONE as danger and that's not going to help anyone. Even guide dogs who have been trained to never react to people or dogs have been known to react when a threat is present. THAT is the keenness that she's looking for--not a dog who sees a rocking horse in a driveway a perceives imminent danger.

I made it clear that I would not be willing to start training unless everyone was on the same page. I would be wasting their time and mine if I didn't have full cooperation.

Results:

With Tank, because it was never Suzy's idea to call in a trainer, she was never on board to do any of the work necessary to work with her dog. She relinquished her dog, and the last I heard, Tank was going on to his 2nd placement.

After several months of training, Lucy has made an 80% or more recovery. She no longer barks all day so everyone is, "No longer on eggshells." All the people in the household can easily tell Lucy a command and she will obey. This is key since Katie needs to assist Jen when she falls out of bed or needs assistance.

Lucy is less reactive on walks. Tim has taken her to an outdoor restaurant and she has sat quietly. During my visits, I can jump around, talk and yet Lucy remains relaxed and calm. Lucy gets daily walks thanks to Tim's hard work, and since the entire household is on the same page with the training, Lucy has made huge strides.

**I never got a photo of "Tank." All names have been changed but the stories are true.